How To Cope With Your Anxieties When Your Child Is Not In Your Custody
Custody of the children can be a very difficult part of a divorce. If you have never missed a day with your child, the thought of not seeing them for several days can be very upsetting, and it would not be unusual for you to worry about what they are doing, or how they are feeling when they are not in your presence. Dealing with your feelings is going to be the best way for you to cope while your children are with their other parent. The following are some concerns you may have, and how you can deal with them:
The Care of the Child
Whether you are divorced or not, a parent's greatest concern is if their children are being cared for properly. What you need to keep in mind is that your version of proper care may be different from the other parent in some ways. You may be stricter, while the other parent is more lax. This can be concerning for you if you feel your kids will not get what you believe they need when they are not in your care.
The thing you need to remember is that the ultimate goal for any parent is to ensure their children are loved and all of their physical and emotional needs are met. The other parent should provide a happy and loving atmosphere in a safe home; this includes not making ugly remarks about the child's other parent.
As long as these needs are met, there is little you can do to change the way your former spouse parents your children while they are in their home. Each parent is allowed to parent on their own terms in a typical joint custody arrangement. If you have any major concerns, it is best to mention that while you are in court ironing out the custody arrangement, to ensure your concerns are documented. Other than that, you can also opt to discuss your concerns with your former spouse and hopefully come to an amicable agreement you can both be happy with.
Your Rules While the Kids Are Away
Many homes have their own set of rules and standards for their children. Once you have to divide that time with your former spouse, you need to realize that your rules are not necessarily going to be in play in their home. Unless you hold the same values with regard to discipline, diet, curfew, and the like, you cannot expect that your rules set in your home are going to be the same as the children's other parent.
Again, you can speak with each other ahead of time to iron out any concerns you may have with regard to rules. You should also discuss punishments, and your desire for your former spouse's support if your child is grounded; although you have to remember that it is not always going to go your way if the other parent chooses to go a different route.
The best way you can cope with any problems or anxieties you have is to simply communicate with your former spouse. Let your feelings be known in a nice and respectful way, and hope that you can both be on the same page when it comes to your kids. You can contact companies like Kleveland Law for more information.